Wolf and the Owl
Poetry, Lyrics, Translations
and Musings by Alex Etchart

Guilty Soul

By on Monday 21st November, 2011

Inspired by Nadine Tunasi dedicated to her daughter Alia
Live recording from when I was 16 on Soundcloud

 

My story is much too sad to be told,
I have a weary weeping soul of old,
Get on the bus, some guy starts saying “What a wonderful day!”
I long to chat, I speak a little english, careful what I say…

So it begins…
“Back in my country it gets up to forty five degrees”
“Ah, what, aren’t you British, second generation Caribbean?” I said “No, I’m Congolese!”
He said “Oh, wait a minute… the Congo? That country sends a lot of refugees”
“That’s right” said I, and I liked his smile, so I lied through my teeth.

Said I, said I, said I,
Said I’m no refugee
For fear that he’d see
A different woman in me,

No I’m not “one of them”,
Not “another one of them”,
Not “just another one of thousands
of the same old them.”

My past is far too harsh to relate,
A tale of torture, murder, words can’t describe rape!
They gave me shelter then they asked me to go to a white man’s debate,
I’m on the stand, they want to know my story, this time I can’t fake (it)

So it begins…
I try not to look them in the eye, else I’ll cry,
Fill ’em in on a statistic they’ve already got on file,
They’re all diplomats in a big impressive building,
They scribble notes, they sip their milky coffee, but are they really listening?

Said I, said I, said I, said I
I don’t want your pity;
I’ve got my solitude to pity me,
And I don’t need your money,
I just want you to listen to my plea
No I just want you to listen and see

That I feel
Guilty that I survived,
Of all my family
Why’d the devil grant me life?

…improvised ending…

I feel hated
I feel fated
Why’d I hand them my life on a plate
To people who can’t possibly relate, oh
A story of the horrors
The unspoken terrors
The shit that don’t hit the textbooks
It just gets overlooked
A story
Of th’atrocity
of war

 

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Posted in: Songs

Blog owner, singing/strumming person, word speaker, community arts make-happen-er, eco-baby.

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